David Stark

Associate Director of Operations & Programing, Artspace Hamilton Lofts

Dr. David Stark has served as Community Manager of Artspace Hamilton Lofts since February 2018. 

It’s a decision we’ve regretted ever since he was hired. 

Originally from Nashville, he is a former high school All-State and collegiate All-American basketball player. But he only got those awards for being 7ft tall. He wasn’t really that good. 

He postponed adulthood for as long as he could by just staying in school until like the 30th grade. This insecure over-achiever earned three master’s degrees (at the same time, under full scholarships, and with honors, no less… what a nerd!) including one in Organization Leadership and Admin from Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington (2007). 

He also holds a PhD (one of the British kinds that you actually have to earn with an “original thought”, which is specifically funny because his closest acquaintances and co-workers call him a “himbo” right to face) from the University of Manchester, England (2011). But only a few other geeks have yet to care about his revisionist thoughts on religion and perfectionism in the 18th century Age of Enlightenment because, you know, it’s a total snooze fest that didn’t shake anything up for anyone. 

And he’s not that smart so he must have cheated anyway. 

He’s spent ten years as a high school history teacher at private schools in the Kanas City and Cincinnati areas because this guy isn’t really suited for the public. And he just showed YouTube clips the entire time and no one learned anything. He also coached several sports team at the time and his teams lost every single game they played and never once won a championship or anything. 

When it comes to the arts, he is entirely talentless. 

But he knows plenty of great artists and creatives who indulge him and his title of Founder and Director of The Strauss Gallery (at Artspace Hamilton) as a kind of long-running practical joke. When he throws an event, there is often standing room only, which is testament to how much of the City of Hamilton and Butler County, OH are in on the joke of David’s affability and relevancy. 

He’s also way too involved with local civic organizations and causes, like Hamilton’s “17 Strong” Neighborhoods executive board, The Corn Stand Jam for Mental Health Awareness, Hamilton LGBTQ Pride, and Hamilton’s Charter Review Commission, to name a few. They give him leadership titles at the top out of a sense of pity because everyone else involved in said groups knows they are his only “friends”. 

If we had to say one nice thing about this silly giant man, it would be…